Battling the Blubber

I have still yet to learn not to leave eating until I’m absolutely starving. I really need to learn this lesson, preferably before I make myself ill by scarfing down as much as I can. Like I did today. I was so hungry by the time I’d finished making dinner that I porked out on Bolognese (not on the pasta, I actually weighed it out). Now I am suffering with monumental bloat. I keep doing this to myself.    I am so fed up of doing this to myself but the hunger pangs come on so quickly that I barely have time to make a meal before I’m completely starving and ready to scoff my way through the whole meal (my husband’s three portions too). I can go all day without feeling hunger of any kind but at soon as it hits I feel like my stomach is digesting itself. It’s fine when I’m fasting, I know I can’t eat at all (well you know), but when I know I can eat it hits really hard and I gorge.  Bizarrely on these “binge” occasions I don’t go over my TDEE at all, I just f...

I’m not a runner, I have monumentally knackered knees, a VERY large bosom and I suffer from perpetual fear of ridicule. I’m fat, you know this if you’ve been reading my posts, and I hate exercising where people can see me, I feel ridiculous. That feeling that you are completely surrounded by fit, thin people, all of whom are judging you for allowing yourself to be so unfit and overweight. In practice I’m sure this isn’t true (almost sure).  I’m going to start running on Monday. Okay scratch that I’m going to start walking with brief periods of running thrown in to get me started. It’s not much but it’s a start and I’m pretty sure my knees are never going to get strong enough to run unless I start to run. My main issue is bounce, I have a single sports bra that stops the bounce but it’s not all that comfortable because I feel like a trussed up turkey. The problem is that I feel like I’ve been tied and bound in all the sports bras I’ve ever tried. I’ve tried running ...

After a less than wonderful fast yesterday I’ve decided I love this way of eating to lose weight. This morning I weighed in at 94kg (14st 11lbs). It seems I definitely made up for the crap I ate at the weekend.  If I can lose another three pounds this next week then I will have hit the target for my first Lindy Bop dress. I’m not expecting it though. I think that next week I will lose about a pound. I think I’m going to be a fluctuating weight-loser from my results so far.  I’m just so happy!

So today I attempted to do a ‘semi-fast’ and I did pretty well actually. I even managed to go up to 21:30 without anything more than my usual tea bingeing. I wasn’t even hungry for most of the day, just the occasional twinge abated by another cuppa.  By the time I got home from my language lessons I was so hungry I thought my stomach was digesting itself. I got in and I practically inhaled a bowl of couscous and a bag of cheese and onion crisps. I’m suffering for it now.     The ultimate in bloating. I think I shall fast again tomorrow to get rid of this awfully uncomfortable gut pain. I will admit to something, I was weak and I have jumped on the scales this evening. I don’t know how I’ve done it, considering the amount of crap I ate over the weekend, but I’ve actually lost 0.9kg/2lbs. I’m quite pleased with this result but it has made me more realistic about how much I can expect to lose over the period of a single week. Hey if I can keep it to 2 ...

Today is going well so far, I’m not hungry and I have plenty of tea to keep me going and I don’t envisage any problems arising. Considering my lapse from the TDEE for two days over the weekend I am going to attempt a “semi-fast” tomorrow, between my two fast days.  A fast day is a reduction of calorie intake to one quarter of your TDEE so I will attempt to make Tuesday a reduction to one half of my TDEE. I think if I try to do this it might stop me wanting to gorge when I come off of a fast.   My stomach will have shrunk more because of the calorie reduction over three days instead of one and I should have achieved a reasonable state of ketosis over that period. Anyway who knows I might be right I might be wrong but I can give it a shot. If I can’t stick it I haven’t lost anything and I’ll probably come in at under my TDEE anyway.

I’ve been thinking about how meals should be made up, all through my life, as a child and upwards, I’ve always thought that the majority of the meal should be carbs. It shouldn’t. Thinking about a restaurant we visited when my parents were here to visit the primary part of the meal was the ‘meat’, the secondary  focus was the vegetables (gorgeous too) and the smallest portion was a little pile of rice (just enough to fit into one of those single serving pudding cups).  Now current thinking is saying this is correct and to be quite frank it worked very well for me. I was more than satisfied with the meat and veg and little spoon of rice and I was done, I couldn’t finish the rest.  But when you’re at home and thinking about making dinner the old habits creep back in. We weren’t a “rich” family but we got by and my thought processes for combining food has been influenced by the fact that when I was growing up carbs were cheap. Rice, pasta, potatoes, bread, lentil...