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Outside Influence



I’m struggling with the influence of my husband. He loves me just as I am and who doesn’t want that? The problem is that I don’t love me the way I am so I find it hard to accept that he does. I have been increasingly over weight since my very early twenties but I still remember having a 30” waist and an E-cup bust (I’ve always been distinctly top heavy). The difference is that I met my significant other at around the same weight I am now and he asked me to marry him when I was even bigger. The smallest he has ever known me was when I got down to 13st for our wedding and I want to lose the remaining 3st to get down to my 10st weight. 


He worries about me, and if he thinks I’m going too far he’s going to force-feed me cheese on toast. I understand his concerns, a few years ago a family member lost huge amounts of weight with the Dukan low-carb approach, and well-done to her she managed to keep it off but she went too far and at 5’9” she was starting to look a bit skeletal in size 8 (UK) clothes (don’t get me started on supermodels and US size 0). For some women this wouldn’t be a problem but at the latter end of the forties and closing on fifty losing so much weight (so quickly) has a large impact on wrinkles. Not good.


I want to be how I was when I was happy with how I looked, I had a comparatively tiny waist with curvy hips and generous bosom.  At that point I was pretty much a perfect hourglass (and about 20 years old). I’m not asking for miracles, I know that being overweight for 10-12 years has taken its toll on my skin (yes I have stretch marks) and that there will be wobbly bits that no amount of exercise will shift but I want to feel good in a swimming costume (a bikini is asking too much) at the beach.  The one good thing I have going for me is that I still have good legs, with minimal cellulite, yay me!


I worry, not only that my husband will intervene if I try to attain my actual goal weight, but that he won’t be as attracted to me if I do achieve my goal. Considering that he has never seen me at my best (my opinion) will it make an impact on him? The other question is; Will his opinion affect my will to reach my target weight?

What a terrifying thought. I know he loves me and that won’t change because of my weight but physical attraction is based primarily on the visual and I don’t want to risk losing that.

Heck if I go at it slowly enough maybe he won’t notice it…

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